Sunday, February 23, 2014

More Than My Life

So here it first blog post...ever.  I've had many thoughts on how to approach this.  Should it be a journal, an outlet so to speak?  Should it be more informational on the topics that I am thinking of writing about?  How personal should I get?  Should I focus on just one topic?  And, furthermore, do I need to write each post in a word document first, utilizing the grammar, punctuation and spelling tools that may be more accurate than blogger?

Here is what I have decided.  I am overthinking it.  I am getting too compulsive and anxious about it.  I am going to finally speak freely about circumstances, people, events, and thoughts in my life with out fear of being judged by those I've always feared of being judged by most.  I am going to write about me and say "I" even though I already am feeling as though I'm saying "I" too much.  I'm going to reread my posts once before hitting "publish" but I am NOT going to reread and double check for spelling, grammar, etc. four times over.

This is also what I have decided.  I love to write.  I have a million thoughts in my head that I don't know what to do with.  I have been through times of hell as well as absolutely out of this world, amazingly beautiful times that bring tears to my eye just thinking about them.  And, well, maybe my experiences can help others reflect on their own similar experiences in a positive way.  Or, maybe other's comments will provide me with some insight I haven't yet thought of.  Either way, I hoping for a positive experience.

So just what will I be blogging about?  For the time being I think it will primarily be the things that have greatly influenced who I have become.  The things that are influencing who I am.  The things I am absolutely in love with, what drives me, what I am passionate about.  Some of these "things" include:

Growing up with parents who were raised by alcoholics
Anxiety and OCD
Living with chronic migraines
Being the wife of a state trooper
Having three children 18 months apart
Being a special education teacher
Being a self proclaimed photographer
Cutting/self-injurious behavior

The recent realization I came to is that although all of this-all of these things-revolve around me it's all more than my life.  What happens in my life affects my husband, my children, my sisters, parents, friends.  Everyone's life effects someone else's life.  How we approach our own life and how we think about our own life is what will determine if we spend it worth while.

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